Jumat, 30 Oktober 2015

guilt

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Here I am again, crying like a fool.

The problem is simple. I just wanted to say "How are you?". I just wanted to talk to you with all the affection that I have. With the softest voice. With the loving gaze. 

But I was haunted by all the guilt from the last two years. I might not hurt you physically, but as Murakami said, not all wounds gush blood. 

I didn't know what I was thinking. I didn't understand my behavior at all. I talked little and fast to you. I pretend like I was going somewhere every time I saw you coming. And the worst part is, I knew you know.

I... avoided your eyes.

Gosh, your eyes! They are so beautiful. They are dangerous. They pay attention to human interaction very carefully. They see souls. 

They see right through my soul.

People say there are two type of people who can't look at you in the eyes :
Someone trying to hide a lie,
and someone trying to hide a love.

It was never my intention to hurt you. I just fell for you too hard; I was afraid you'll find out.

Now, can we just sit and talk and talk and talk?

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